Back in the 1850s, when everyone from priests to sugar barons were fighting for their piece of the pie (and their piece of mulatta ass, let’s be frank), this island was known as “la siempre fidelísima Isla de Cuba.” The forever faithful island of Cuba.
As a yuma married to a Cuban for going on nine years now, I can tell you this fidelity question has nagged me long and hard. And I’ve finally reached the tipping point. It took some time, though.
I remember when I was a tenderfoot on these shores – all bright-eyed and basking like a well-fed turtle, not bothered by termites in my bed or even reggaeton (see note 1) – and how much I still had to learn. On one of those fine sunny days way back when, I was seaside with some friends (a pair of ex-pat Europeans who bailed long ago) having a few cold drinks and taking the ocean air.
‘But don’t you wonder where he was?’ my friend asked. She’s one of those naturally beautiful, smart women who always seems to get what she wants even when she’s not entirely sure what that is.
‘Nah.’ I said. ‘I trust him implicitly.’ Did I really just say that? More to the point, do I really believe it? Me, who has only trusted implicitly five people my whole life, four of whom share my last name? It slipped out, but it was true. At least I wanted to think it was true.
The distinguished gent across from me, a rich well-traveled Turk who was living in Cuba on a lark, raised his eyebrow and his glass. ‘I wouldn’t trust anyone here implicitly, querida,’ he said sipping his Bucanero.
_____
It was my first summer here – 2002. I’d never even seen a spit-roasted pig or the inside of a hospital (see note 2) and my husband and I were spending August camping around the island. I was blissfully unaware of the depth of my ignorance about Cuba – had I known then what I know now and I had known how confused I’d still be all these years later, I may have run away and quit before my Cuban odyssey ever really started.
The car packed high with tent and stove, kitchen kit and several gallons of water, we went way off the beaten path. Making our way across the country we’d just pick a place on the map and go. This is how we found ourselves kicking up dirt on a deserted road heading towards Punta Covarrubias in god forsaken Las Tunas (see note 3). We saw nothing for miles – no birds stirred the air, nary a lizard snuck out his tongue. Not one car or person appeared in the 90 minutes we were on that rutted road. Finally the sea grew into view and with it came gales of laughter.
When we pulled up between pines as thin as a Cuban campesino, we saw a panel truck and a party in full swing. The beach and lone hotel were deserted – closed for the season or some other confounding Cuban reason – but these folks had come to let their hair down and hot dog!, roast a pig.
My husband busted out a bottle of rum and we took turns rotating the pig. Dominos materialized of course. We got to know our hosts in that way Cubans have of making fast friends. They were lovely people, country folk who worked hard and had the calluses to prove it. With the sun dipping low, we swapped addresses (none of us had phones in our homes) and I promised to send Eliades the photos we’d taken.
“On no! Don’t send them to me. My wife will kill me if she finds out!”
And here I’d thought the buxom brunette with the sunburned collarbone he’d been fondling all day was his wife. Silly me.
_____
Not long thereafter, I was on the 100 bus going to a meeting. It was one of those oppressive Havana days when tempers are short, the sun’s rays are long and you’re sweating as soon as you step from the shower. In sum, a typical July day in these parts. The 100 bus, I should mention, ‘tiene sus cosas‘ as we say here – it has it’s thing going on.
This bus runs through Marianao – a very working class, very black neighborhood run thick with bling and babalawos – from where it descends to the seashore in Miramar. In summer, this bus is an asses to elbows, hips to groin crush of humanity desperate to get to the “beach” (no sand, just a nasty species of shoreline rock known as diente de perro). At these times, boys ride the 100 shirtless and the girls are more scandalously clad than usual (if that’s possible). It’s so crowded daredevils hang from the windows, hitching a ride from the outside.
On this day, I was all up in it inside the bus. There was no choice but to squash up against the strangers squeezing in around me. I tried to angle away from any erogenous zones – theirs and mine. As we crossed Calle 51, the crowd crushed in tighter and I felt a warm rush of air on my face.
“Come to the beach with me baby,” a young, chiseled guy chuffed in my ear. I turned away, making sure to steer clear of his bulge.
“I don’t think my husband would approve,” I snapped.
“You’re married? So what?” the kid responded, pressing in tighter against me.
_____
Some years ago, I was let in on a secret. It wasn’t really a secret (a concept which is completely foreign to most Cubans) but rather one of those things that people know about but no one mentions: the two family phenomenon. I had drawn breath 32 years before I’d ever known that there were men who keep two families. Not Big Love style, but two secret families – one on one side of town, the younger on the other.
I have one friend, the poor soul, who discovered the ignoble injustice as her dearly beloved lay on his deathbed. On that day, she had brought him his breakfast and coffee just like every day since he had been hospitalized. She kissed him goodbye and turned to leave just as a second woman came in, breakfast and coffee thermos in hand, trailing two kids. The Other Wife with The Other Children who had no idea they had a half-brother and -sister on the other side of town. The bastard died not long thereafter. My friend and I don’t talk about it.
The same thing befell another friend, Josue. As an adult, he discovered his father had kept another family secreted away, also with kids – two brothers Josue spent a whole life not knowing.
I wonder about men who are so weak and insecure they need two women, two sets of kids, two lives. I imagine it must be extraordinarily stressful and hard to keep straight. I wonder how they look themselves in the mirror.
_____
Don’t believe for a second it’s only the men. Rosario is a perky (natural) blond with the hips of a mulatta and the ass of a negress. Her husband Julian is not only hot, he’s a talented, super successful musician to boot. They have a beautiful son together. One morning Julian woke up to an empty house. Turns out Rosario had married a Mexican on the side to leave the country and took the boy with her. She ditched the Mexican as soon as possible of course; she and the boy now live in Miami.
And what I’ve seen during my work abroad, covering the Cuban medical missions? Por favor. These folks serving two years in godforsaken places are like sailors on shore leave the way they hook up with one another. And the longer and harder the posting, like Haiti or Pakistan? Let’s just say it’s far from ‘la siempre fidelísima Isla de Cuba.’
For someone like me, faithful as a damn dog, this is all pretty disturbing. What does ‘faithful’ mean here, I wonder? Does it even translate? Does giving head count as cheating? Getting it? How about a mercy fuck? I’m not sure I want to know. What I do know, now that I’ve learned a little about Cuba, is that I wouldn’t necessarily say implicitly…
Notes
1. For the record, I have always been bothered by cold water showers and turds at the beach.
2. Since then I’ve been regularly employed as a journalist (take that OFAC!) by MEDICC Review which has thrust me inside all sorts of Cuban hospitals – from pediatric to post-disaster.
3. Very near here is one of the points of highest illegal immigration to the United States in all of Cuba. So common and scheduled are the super fast speed boats that pick up Cubans to zip them across the Straits to Florida they’re called ‘Yutongs’ – our equivalent of a Greyhound.
I really enjoyed this post. Since living in Caracas, I’ve come to realize that the US may be one of the last societies to expect fidelity in marriages (and cheating STILL happens!). For the most part, it is only accepted with men, but studies have shown that women cheat just as much. I’m still perplexed by this realization and haven’t figured out where it fits for me – I just celebrated 9 years of marriage, too.
Thanks! And congratulations on 9 years…no es fácil.
But your comment has me thinking: are you married to a Venezuelan or North American? Wondering how much context influences fidelity?
I just phoned my Cubana to check on where she is and what she is doing.
She said that she is in her office working – but now you have given me doubts. LOL!
I guess the first question has to be: does she have a job?!
Je je je je!
Ah you mean that her paychecks go regularly into our joint account could be an elaborate subterfuge?
I’m just sayin’…..
…or what her job is ?
Seriously though. The last time I was in Havana I was renting a room (with my Cuban boyfriend) from an older couple who had a teenage son. One night the woman’s husband was out and I asked her where he was and she replied that he was out with his “novia”. I asked her to repeat it because I was still learning basic Spanish and wanted to be sure I heard correctly. Apparently she knew all about this and was 100% ok with it. She then goes on to tell me that all Cuban men have girlfriends on the side and that her son (14 or 15) has 3 different girlfriends ! And that they all know about each other.
Being from San Francisco I appreciate open relationships, particularly when everyone involved is being honest with each other. But obviously you can’t always count on honesty or fidelity.
When my boyfriend came home that night from hanging out with his band…I asked him how “band practice” was (sarcastically). He told me (equally sarcastically) “oh it was great…there were three beautiful mulattas there…we had a wonderful time”
hmmmm…I guess its smart to be a little doubtful
my point exactly!! thanks for making it nice and succinctly Yumacita.
The comment from the ‘lady of the house’ – that all cuban men have girlfriends (or boyfriends, but that’s another post!) is really hard to hear all the time when you’re married to a cuban guy and let me tell you, I hear it all the time. There ARE mold breakers I know, but sometimes it’s hard to weed out….also, this is kind of a scary construct when you couple it with condom use practices/percentages here.
I was looking to rent a room in Cuba when I go there .. do you rmbr where you rented? Any advice ? Loved your story =) I too am with a cuban and I would hate to find out he is anything like the horrid cubans tht have multi relations.
Great post, Conner. A beautiful, intelligent woman like you shouldn’t have to worry about these things, imho. But I know this phenomena is very common here in Mexico too. Seems to me to be a cultural phenomena started when men were so much more in charge and society was so much more restrictive to both sexes. Now its a holdover that men perpetuate because its a helluva lot easier than intimacy and honesty. (sigh) Keep writing… we love reading it!
Aw shucks. thanks. Trying not to worry too much (causes wrinkles and indigestion, dontchaknow?). Writing helps keep me off the ledge – will take your advice and keep at it!
Funny, here in Cuba it’s men AND women just cheatin’ all over the place. As another commenter points out – lots of people are A-OK with it. but for my money, there are very few guys who can roll with a beautiful, intelligent woman like me (and you by the by!!) and I ain’t gonna share with the unworthy!
Not unlike our very own San Francisco oil tycoon (and my ex-wife’s boss), Gordon Getty, who had a whole second family in Los Angeles for the better part of two decades (gf/three daughters) unbeknownst to his wife (and the mother of his four sons).
OK hold on. Not sure which is more appalling to me – that I haven’t seen you in so long that you have an EX wife or that someone as visible as this could get away with the 2 family thang (oh riiiiiight. he’s filthy rich which makes anything possible right? wrong. can’t buy me love and all that). Te extrano chica!!! thanks for reading and writing in and maybe we can reunite in 2011?!
What an interesting phenomenon! I’m also very familiar/comfortable with open relationships, but that’s such a different bag of worms than infidelity. I just can’t get over the whole “having two separate households” thing… how do people do that without blowing their cover? It seems like such an intense and complicated form of deceit that would take a huge amount of effort. I’ve also been watching Big Love lately, though, so maybe that’s influencing me a bit.
Great point Christy – open relationship isn’t the same as infidelity. have to have a think on that one.
wild the two family thing eh? It sounds so…..exhausting. emotionally, physically, spiritually and of course, financially. See comment about the Getty bastard. Happens all over it seems!
Conner – having just finished Beautiful Maria of my Soul, it is so much clearer to me now, this whole fidelity issue, Cuban/Cubana love, musicos and their desperate, undying love. NOT. Having lived on the African continent, I can tell you that there is no less of an issue there, though it is so much harder for the women to GET anywhere where they might meet men. The #1 method of passing AIDS there is from men who work routes (like truck drivers) or away from home (like miners), who have multiple girlfriends (and usually kids to go w/them), and who bring themselves back home with HIV and no possibility for treatment, and sharing all that with their wives. It’s terrible sad. The betrayal is almost the little piece, in that picture, but not for the woman who has been broken-hearted.
Hiya and thanks for posting. I didn’t even touch the AIDS/STIs issue and how it collides with infidelity which is something Im sort of an expert in (I wrote an in-depth report for Oxfam on HIV & AIDS in Cuba and have written on it extensively in MEDICC Review.)
It so, but so so so pisses me off. Married men having (unprotected) sex with other men is one of the major causes of HIV infection for Cuban women. Think about the homophobia/machismo/mysogyny that this construct entails. sickening. Truck drivers here are also active spreaders of HIV. Would be interested in seeing what the Africa you know is like….
(comment removed per original poster’s request)
I am so very sorry you’re going through this. what a way to start 2011. I can parse your whole message, but its late, my husband is on my nerves and we still have to whip up dinner so I’ll just say this for now: I have never, ever heard a cuban call an ex a novio/a. Another troubling piece: he’s a touring musician + he’s Cuban. Not a typical equation equalling fidelity.
But maybe, just maybe we’re all simply a pack of paranoid psycho bitches and he really doesn’t have anyone back in Cuba.
(go for option C – if you can. I wish I could take my own advice!)
hang in there!
Any readers out there want to chime in and help this reader out w/ some words o wisdom?
Thank you for your words. Yes, I have decided to try option C as well, basically for my sanity.
Hey!
How did option C work out for you?
I hope you had the strength to follow through and that it was much easier than you thought it would be.
So true, so true…. (pst! no double “s” in Spanish
)
Noted and corrected! Muchísimas gracias!
All Cuban musicians cheat. More than 90% of Cuban men cheat at least once. I dumped my first husband of 7 years for cheating on me (and boy, he was not handsome). My second husband is fine. However, by saying that I must mention that we do not live in Cuba anymore for the last 17 years. But I wouldn’t say that I am 100% sure of this. It must be in their blood. Have you seen a very good film that might cheer you up “Miss Caribe” with Ana Belen? (1988) It’s great and funny and blames the hot climate for cheating men.
Ah, not a winning percentage for our Canadian friend. Hope she’s doing ok! maybe hers is the 10%?
Thanks for the movie tip. will definitely check it out!
so happy to find your blog–so interesting! can’t wait to read more
That makes two of us! Bienvenida (and feel free to spread the word!)
Excellent article. I just discovered your blog and truly enjoy what I’ve read so far. I just returned from a week in Cuba (alas, my work and family prevent me from taking more time!) and will be back in March. I appreciate the insights that you offer from the “gringo” perspective but living the life full time.
Cheers! Even a week is worth it, eh?!
Going to Cuba is like stepping into a parallel universe!
I guess Im a space cowgirl then living here. Or some kind of cosmic-naut. Feels like it anyway.
Wow, what to say? Just discovered this very interesting blog and just had to comment. Let me say right up front that I’m a Cuban American, living in Miami, whose family was active in the counter revolution, knew Fidel personally since his days at Belen Jesuit, but that’s neither here nor there…just thought that as a woman I’ve been cheated on by my Cuban American ex-husband, so I’m not necessarily disagreeing that there ARE cheaters but this post seems a bit a sweeping generalization. Not saying it ain’t so, just saying this seemed a bit much. I’ve known lots of Cuban American men with second families on the side, but I’ve also been fortunate to know many, many devoted family men (and women) who never gave a second glance at another person. Just sayin’ . This seemed a little patronizing. Sure you didn’t mean it like that but that was my take.
Hola Teri and thanks for writing in. Of course you’re right. This is a generalization. That’s what stereotypes are and what Im writing about is a steroetype. And looking at the comments Ive received, Id say the stereotype isnt far off.
This is such a a complex issue and you bring up yet another element: the emigrant. You speak of Cuban Americans, I speak of Cubans on the island. Is there a difference? Does cultural baggage/history/outlook/behavior change in a host country? As someone who lives in a foreign culture, Id venture to say my NY baggage/history/outlook/behavior has definitely changed since Ive lived here.
Patronizing, now that is something else. I hate it when people are patronizing and don’t want to be that way myself. I’ll have to re-read the post (Ive been swamped, writing all kinds of crazy stuff from HIV in Cuba to what dish is good at La Union Francaise so Im a bit foggy on post details) with your opinion in mind.
Hey Teri,
The thing is : I Opened Google and typed: ” cheating cuban men”
and the first link was this website. So I believe most of the people here feel like maybe they are being cheated. People who do not feel that way, husbands make them feel good. These people do not type ‘ cheatin cuban men” in Google, hence do not leave comments here.
Do I make sense or maybe it is a little too late in the day( Canada, 2 a.m.) for me to make sense?
I am dating a Cuban programmer and not 100% if he is cheating, but I Studied Myerrs Briggs personalities and according to them, there are some personalities of people for who it is harder to cheat. For example, for very neat, organized and clean people –the idea of cheating is very dirty, not organized, etc….( well, Myerrs Briigs explains it)… For others it is more easier naturally.
The other articles on the internet saying that Cubans cheat because they have less things to distract them from their personal relationships: travel, hobbies, entertainment, career ( expecting higher salary..etc.). When the whol focus of your life is on your personal relationship, it is inevitable to get fixated on bad things from time to time. So naturally for some people to seek their fullfilment on the side. According to some psychologists hapiness consists of such thing as stability ( you have a job a husband), variety ( you are pleasantly surprised, you travel for example), self development, contribution to society, love and intimacy. So whenever somebody is cheating he is not receiving something from the partner, and in Cuba maybe the whole atmospere now ( it is like ” perestroika” in Soviet Union) does not fulfil those essential needs. The cheating was on the rise during the collaps of Soviet union as well because people just were unhappy, confused…so they seek solution in cheating ( variety, learning new from new partner, excitement from fresh love)…….
Some interesting observations here Bedazzler, the majority of which I don’t agree with. I dont have the time or inclination to pop psychologize much further on the issue (and certainly not to the extent of referencing Myers Briggs), but would like to clarify a couple of points you make.
1. “When the whol focus of your life is on your personal relationship” – I don’t know if you have been to Cuba, but one of the things that becomes obvious on even a short visit is that “the whole focus” of 99% of the population is: what will my family and I eat today? Followed closely by: how will I get money to fix the roof/pay the phone/buy a new bicycle tire? Career advancement is way up there in the mix too – whether you’re a biotech researcher or a pizza slinger in the zillion of new private pizza joints here.
2. There are many, many other ways people all over the world, and here too, focus on career besides “higher salary”, though that is obviously a goal.
3. What’s happening now in Cuba isn’t like perestroika – it doesn’t have the political component.
I do agree with you that variety is the spice of life, love life or not, and most Cubans are terribly bored (and anxious, which is why you have a rising incidence of pill popping and abuse).
You say you’re dating a computer programmer, but I take it from your comments that you are also Cuban? Just wondering.
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Thanks for the reply,
I am just juggling ideas, no confident opinion, just discussion
1. No, I am not Cuban. I just lived through this period in Soviet Union.
Well, they already passed that special period;-) where all they eat and we ate in Soviet Union were chicken feet;-))) for about 1 year. Right now it is for them to decide how proceed ( disastrous Soviet style, nice and strict Chinese style) or stay socialist. Raoul is militarizing every institution but allowed small businesses. So it is closer to Chinese style ( better for them)
2. I have lived in Cuba for 4 months in different parts and visiting every month or two.
Yes, by career I did not mean knowledge. In socialist Russia everybody was going for a PHD and everybody was extremely well rounded since education in all forms, theaters and piano classes were free or almost free.
3. Yes, you are right. They do not focus on personal life.. but then I do not know how to explain that, maybe you can help My boyfriend always tells me about lack of motivation to progress at work, to learn anything at work . since work is not paid and equipment is not supplied ( he does not have a computer).
He tells me that is how all of his friends end up sitting home with their unemployed wives driving each other crazy;-) with no food. That is what I call concentration on personal relationships. But you will probably correct me since English is not my first language. The pressure at home is bad since all those things we are getting ( some of us) from our passionate hobbies and careers, they have less motivation or possibilities to get. However, I met some passionate Cuban painters extremely faithful and extremely dedicated to their passion. One of the ingredients of faithfulness is having a passion in life besides your partner.
3. I am reading a book about Canadian Identity which says : Canadians are polite, direct, dry and not friendly. The stereotype of the Latin american people is they are really touchy, emotional, jealous, indirect.
I am talking about stereotypes ( based on books that I read). My company ( large american bank) made me do a test which revealed that I am a very indirect person and my ideal place of work is a Spanish-speaking country.
I understand cubans alot when they lie in order not to hurt, cheat when they can not make a decision to leave. ( I am talking about stereotypes of course). So my other point is —-> Cheating is inability to be direct about problems, to confront the problems directly and discuss them…i think..correct me…
In the bank that I work workers of spanish background always drive away from confrontation during the meetings from the chinese and canadian bosses that use direct communication style.
All the westernized books speak that ” couples should engage in direct communication and discuss issues”. Easier said than done. What if you are extremely sensitive to conflict person?” ( well, I am and lots of Cubans I met would just lie ( so fast) in order to avoid direct arguing or conflict. haha. They all have a hard time saying no ( people pleasures. I am too).
Well, I am just digging away from the main reason —>all the economic problems –>that of course keep the couples that stopped loving each other together ( no separate real estate). But then: is it really cheating when deep down you know that you just living together since you can not move?
My boyfriend jokes that “a cuban would cheat but would still at the end die by the feet of his wife”;-)))..
What’s funny is that I’m Cuban, yet I’m direct and faithful to the woman that I am with at the time. I’m also young, an artist and virile which seems to break the stereotypes in many ways.
Breaking stereotypes is the best way to be in my opinion! (Probably because I seem to do a bunch of it myself.)
Cuban virility – now that’s a topic on which there is no debate.
Lol! Good point
Connergo, love your post. I have been to Cuba 7 times now and your post has opened up my view. Being Canadian, I cannot understand the lies, cheating that goes on there. I witnessed it at the resort I was staying at when the bartender closed up the bar and had one of the waitresses meet him inside for a little love. Both were married. My cuban friend didn’t bat an eye at this. I was shocked, as if this was a regular part of life for them. Having two families is the norm there. Two of the men that I spoke to on the resort had children from two different women. And the other women knew about it but stayed by their man. I guess it’s difficult for single mothers to get by in Cuba. I know it was difficult for me as a single mother here in Canada and I had a good job and good parents to help me.
Thanks for this blog, it’s great to read a women’s perspective living in cuba
Hi there
Single mothers are the majority in Cuba and they seem to have it pretty good (compared to in NY, where I grew up, daughter of a single mother of 4 kids) – free health and education, home ownership (in the Cuba sense), food subsidies – Im sure you know the system there. Kids by different fathers is very common in Cuba – I have no problem with that. What gets my goat is when they hide an entire family from another and split their time – surreptitiously – between the two.
Thanks for the props! helps me keep writing.
“the hips of a mulatta”….as opposed to what? If she’s mulatta, she either has hips (like/unlike white women) or not (like/unlike black women). Learn to write.
hi Cindy. Haven’t seen you around here before. Of all the pages and pages of posts, this is what you choose to parse and suggest I “learn to write?”
Granted, still learning (every day!), still writing (always), but I’ll let the thousands of books Ive sold, hundreds of articles I’ve written, and posts here that hold the opposite opinion to yours speak for themselves.
Wow! Love your description of the 100 Bus … the entire essay, actually, is spectacular. Thanks for sharing.
“La Cien” is a trip in itself! Especially this time of year. Happy travels and thanks for writing in.
Hi Connerg,
EL Cubanito from Lonelyplanet here. Connerg, I just read this post and it brought back memories of 2 relationships I had in Cuba in the last 12 years of travelling to Cuba. The 1st one was with a girl from Santa Clara.
For those that do not know me, I was born in Cuba but raised in the grand USA. The town I was raised in here in the USA is Princeton, NJ. Folks, it does not get more anglo than good old Princeton, New Jersey. Naturaly, I have a Cuban mentally from my parents upbringing, plus a heavy doseage of American as well.
Dianelys, the girl from Santa Clara was a mulatta with incredible hips, a$#, power steering and air condition all roll up into one (get the picture, it the type of girl that gets us fella thinking with the brain South Dixie Mason Line). We had great times together. I even spent a month in Cuba living with her. She told me that she was dirvoce. I met her ex-husband and he had a new wife. What she did not tell me that the so called “Cousin” was really her live in lover whenever I would leave the Island. I became pretty good friend with her next door neighbor who also had a daughter, who was a medical doctor. One day while calling she let me in on what was going on. I WAS HURT!!!! When I return to the Island again on another visit she alerted me to what goes on down in Cuba with these dual relationships. She told me that yes she had feelings, but that was the way things were done in Cuba. That it was just sex and nothing else. That I was making to much of a big deal. Today, we are good friends and whenever I go to Cuba and I fly into Havana. I always stop in Santa Clara for 2 or 3 nights and we simply hang out. Dianelys is one of my best friends in Cuba.
The second relationship I had in CUba was with this Doctor from Santiago. I can honetly say that we had a great relationship but I am really not ready to marry anybody from Cuba.
And so it goes….sorry to hear about your experience, though you sound to have come through unscathed.
Connerg,
The reason I am not suicidal or anything is because “D” reach out for me and found me and explain things. I do believe she had feeling and the reason I say that is because we have been friends for 9 years. Yes, my relationship with “D” started out in 2002, August to be exact. You and I might have bump into another in Havana and did not even know it. Connerg, I did meet another American who is still living down in Cuba as of today. I met him at a Casa Particular that Dianelys and I stayed at. He is a black guy who wrote a book about where white people came from that was extremely controversial. He still lives in Cuba. When I went last August, he was still living at the same Casa Particular that he has lives these 9 years. He is no longer a client for the Casa owners. He is family now.
The relationship with the Doctor was a great, great relationship. She restore alot that was lost with “D”. “T” is an exceptional person, plus she is not looking to get off the Island. Trust me I know first hand. Her family is very high on the food chain. Her Mom was a teacher for Cuban Kids in the *** Embassy. Her Dad study and live in *** for a number of years. Later on both of her parents return to Cuba and were rewarded high positions with the Government. She loves her family tremendously and does not see herself leaving Cuba. I am still in very, very good term with “T”. But I thank God for meeting her and dating her, She really help me in alot of things about life.
glad to hear things worked out.
PS – Ive deleted personal details to protect identity of your friends.
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when I read comments like Teri made ” I’ve known lots of Cuban American men with second families on the side…” I wonder on which planet I am living. In my 45 years I have never met anyone with a ‘second’ family. I am a German man living in the US so I guess I just have not been to the *right* places. How sad it must be to live in constant distress with whom your husband/wife slept again.
Hey Mark. I hadn’t met anyone with a second family (not that I was aware of anyway) until I moved to Cuba – then I met several. Having written this piece, it seems it’s more common than I ever imagined, and in different parts of the world, including the US. The Hmong community has a word for this arrangement it’s so common and apparently through social networking, the wives are starting to communicate, swap notes, etc.
What’s interesting also, to think about, is WOMEN who have secret second families. Does anyone know of any cases of this?
I was thinking about this yesterday and this might be because of 50 years of communism. Traditionally second families are a privilege of the affluent ones (at least in the western world). For a middle class person it would be very difficult to hide the expenses of a second family from the the first one. Maybe the Cuban system somehow allows men to have a second family without the stress of having to care for them.
In the US families complain about the non-present father who is working too much, in Cuba they complain because the non-present father is busy with his other family, interesting thoughts!
On the other hands second families were not common in communist eastern Germany.
Maybe, but I think this is a stretch since the phenomenon is not at all limited to a specific economical/political system.
Hi Conner: i’ll say this two family situation could be a cultural thing or just a real wrong thing cuban people have done for years and no one now is bother by it. growing up in the same situation and taking this to my adulthood , it giving me a different point of view of this issue.
My mother( Pilar Portuondo Coca ) was marry to Luis Kindelan Bell a great man , father and human period. he was and still be my first and principal male model but early in my life I found out he was marry to another lady with four kids (jose Luis , Atonio, Luis Enrrique y Luisita ) which explain why he was not at home every night. some time as a child i questioned this situation to my mom and of course she was well aware of everything and she love this man until her last day on earth. Several thing or argument I can used to justified why these type of situation are acceptable in Cuba.
(1) the absent of a biological father, which is regular in cuba
(2) economically some people have more possibility than other to support their love one
(3) Really important the false concept of Hombria, type of phenomenon more intrinsic in women than men (si creeme
in my case i remember when i found out about it for a of time i hate my stepfather , but my mom was a member of El PCC and at that time in Cuba the communist party have the right to get into people private life so they make my mom life miserable about that. something that make me reconsider my opinion about that and the revolution , my mom was a happy person and became the most painful human being to see,
Now I life in USA with kelly my wife my son Zavier and I got two more kids of my previous relationship with Emily getchell but i have a daughter as a result of an affair , thing that make me again reconsider this behavior since I life in another cultural and I understand how painful this can be . I’m not a angel and i’m not trying to be one but I hope that in the same way taht i’m trying to process this thing some others father can do the same .
Thanks for talk about this
thanks for sharing your story G. I know a lot of people who are bothered by it, especially when they find out – sometimes late in life – that they have brothers and sisters por alli. Family is so important. Im glad yours was able to come to terms with it.
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I have been to Cuba 13 times, a few of them, independantly. I had a good insight on Cuban and tourists relationships (worked in a latin bar for years while I was a student), so I steered clear of any kind of romantic involvement with Cuban men. I would be asked “Do you have a boyfriend?” “yes”. “But do you have one in Cuba? ”
Anyway, one day, a friend from Trinidad sent me a”taxi” to pick me up in Santa Clara. We stopped in Sancti Spiritu to pick up his girfriend, a stunning mulatta who was a nurse at the hospital there. We arrived in Trinidad, went for a couple of drinks with the man and his girlfriend, and then I was asked if I wanted to go to his house for dinner and rum. Then he added “Just don’t tell my wife about my girfriend when you meet her”. I was not even surprised.
Yup. Sounds familiar. What is interesting is how a person can be cheating on their gf/bf/spouse/companero/a and all their friends know and no one tells the person being betrayed. This is Standard Operating Procedure here and I wonder about elsewhere and what other folks think: if you found out your friend was being double timed, would you tel them?
Probably, but then again, some people just do not want to know. I would have to think about it.
Please I need your help before I lose it, I need to know if my boyfriend is cheating, we plan to get married in a few months, his name is David and a lifeguard at the International Hotel in Veradora Cuba, PLEASE I really need help with this, I don’t think I could handle being hurt again,
Thank You,
Hi Roxanne. Wow, I really feel for you. Betrayal is the pits, especially when you’re about to take such a serious step as marriage (I assume you’ve already spent lots of money, time, and energy courting David). Im not sure exactly how I might help (pointing out that the stats skew way towards infidelity than not is unhelpful….) but maybe a nice HIH reader is going to Varadero soon and can check up??? Let me know what you have in mind. Hang in there!
Thank you for taking the time to write, I’m in desperate need, and I hate feeling this way, usually I’m such a strong women. Please if there is anybody that can help, please.
Hi Roxanne,
I personally know how you feel at this point. The only thing that I can say to you is, if your instinct are telling you that something is going on. Then they are correct. I have dated 2 times in Cuba. The first was a disaster since I found later that the person who I was told was a cousin, was not really a cousin. Then later I dated this beautiful person who later on we I found we did not have some things in common. I am very good friends with both women today. The first person after I found what was going on she sat me down and explain a lot of things that go on in Cuba and like I said we stay friends. My other advice is go to Cuba unannounced and arrive at your boyfriend house at 2:30 AM. This is how I was able to catch the first one that was cheating on me. Good Luck. Or I almost forgot DO NOT DEPEND ON SOMEBODY ELSE TO TELL YOU WHAT IS GOING ON.
Good Luck to you.
If this is a serious request then try here for assistance with your query – they have a ‘do you know this person?’ section.
Note that the site has by some very jaundiced souls giving advice
http://www.cubaamor.org/smf/index.php
Thank you, I’m checking into the site you gave me, many thanks, if there is any body going to Veradero, could you please help me with this?
Thanks,
Roxanne
Spend a few dollars and go for a surprise visit. Cheaper than a marriage based on lies.
Wow this is such a interesting site, as 20 year old i must say that i agree with all of u. Personally i came very young to the U.S. before i was infected with that parasite, all the Cuban men i had know had CHEATED and so had most women, in my family has not been a man that has not cheated or had side girlfriends the same goes for all women in my family. I personally look down on such action from both, and now that im of age my own father encourage me to cheat on my girl “come bien y malo, come doble”. Im a soldier in the US army, go to College and have a beautiful Russian girlfriend who i plan to marry. She is studying in Russia for the moment (one year left) and will return to the states, my male family members obsession with cheating has led us to be distant and even get in fights “el hombre ase lo que le da la gana, por que es el que manda” thats my father’s saying to me. 90% of CUBANS cheat, both men and women. Marriage is nothing in Cuba and people think with their dicks and uterus instead of the head, also remember many people leave school and they only live cause of sex tourism. I went to CUBA a few years ago, when i was single staying in a hotel at HAVANA, the front desk manager told me on a late evening “te tengo una surprize” when went to my room there was a beautiful blond woman with blue eyes there, turned out it has his wife and he wanted me to sleep with her for money, i denied and kicked her out made a complain about it also. I don’t know what kind of disease could that woman have and im not a whore. Most Cubans cheat, but that does not mean all. I came young, but i grew between religious Americans and several Army men who took their marriage very seriously. It sucks even more when is your own family who tells u to cheat, all but my mother and grandmother all else do so. ALL men in my CUBAN family had cheated, and CUBAN AMERICANS who were raised in a natural Cuban family without socializing with a healthy being, will turn out ot be a natural “balsero”. And for u women who are ok with open relationships letting your men cheat, shame on u, u are better than a doll and if a man is not willing to give 199% and goes to another women it shows he does not care about u, but your cooking, so dump that SOB and get your self a real MAN.
I always say that Cuban dichos (sayings/axioms) reveal some truths about this crazy place and I thank this reader for supplying two:
“come bien y malo, come doble” – eat well, eat poorly, but eat twice.
“el hombre ase lo que le da la gana, por que es el que manda” – the man does what he wants, because he’s the one who wears the pants.
New to this blog. Love your insight as a Cuban man. I have been married to a Cuban man , not for long. He has lived here for 18 yrs. and it has been quite an experience. One I do not want to repeat. I had NO IDEA of all the issues that come with this type of relationship. This person desires to go back to Cuban which I think is a good idea. Keep it over there. The respect for men/women relationship is not in their thinking. Hard lesson for me, but I am getting through it. Thanks again!
Hola Rose. As you can see, you’re not alone!
But, in spite of it all, there’s something about those Cuban machos; they we’re even singing it to the rafters back in 1938!
I can only confirm most of the comments here. I am here for two weeks (not as a fancy hotel/tour/resort tourist!) and what I have been able to observe is a bit sad. Several of my friends here are cheating or with other men’s wives. Anyone I ask has been married several times or children with multiple women. I understand that 2 weeks is short and that the people I am with are not typical. At least they are typical for what I am reading here. It’s a sad statement that people need multiple partners to feel good about themselves.
And I just heard thunder! Raining in havana.
Hi Mark.
Yeah, that was some super storm – and looks like we’re in for more.
Im sorry you’re seeing the seedy side of Havana – as you point out, 2 weeks is short and this isn’t all Cubans. If the sun stays out long enough, maybe pass a few hours in Parque Monte Barreto or Almendares to see a different side of the city?
The married several times and children w multiple women is par for the course in much of the world, as are single mothers. Men – they make a great case for being a lesbian! (kidding, people…sort of).
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wow, ok, first let me say great write up on a subject that has been of great interest to me ever since I first visited Cuba three years ago. I fell in love with Havana and have been making multiple trips a year ever since, and among many unique phenomenon that make Cuba special, for better or worse, this is one I haven’t seen explored to great length. I am in my late 20s, originally Mediterranean, and have lived in Canada for some time. I have travelled extensively in Europe, South and North America, but have never encountered this level of promiscuity, or what was even more surprising, how unfazed, or even encouraging the locals are in such practices. And don’t get me wrong, I am not one to pass judgment, I am single, fit, speak 4 languages and make a comfortable living; my views and practices on dating are far from puritan, so I don’t usually sleep alone unless it’s by choice. while I don’t condone cheating, I’m not one for long term relationships either… all this to say that in my world, some people might find the frequency of women that come and go high, others even moraly reprehensible. But from what I have seen in Havana, from local friends and acquaintances, it’s left me at a loss for words, many scenarios similar to the ones described in earlier replies. The hardest thing to get used to was that in certain situations, the involved parties did not really make an effort at discretion, but it’s like there is some kind of Omertà it comes to this matters, and people don’t even acknowledge it, let alone feel the need to inform the wronged parties in these equations… All I’ve read, seen, heard and experienced so far would make me inclined to agree with the comment the Turkish gentleman made to you, as much as I have come to like and enjoy most Cubans I’ve met. My apologies for the generalizing or even judgmental tone in comments, I am not one for blanket statements, I am sure that my social circles in Havana might keep me from a others that might act/see things differently, but again, from someone who’s always been into behavioralism and different social norms and conventions, again, I find this fascinating, and thoroughly enjoyed this piece as well as all the ensuing discourse in the comments section. Your blog is quickly becoming a staple of waiting for boarding at airports.. I read a lot of Cuban blogs as well, but I really enjoy your unique perspective, so much so that I’m even willing to forgive your utter and repeated contempt for Reggaeton…
greetings from San Diego Intl’, keep up the great work with the blog and the app!
Hola Montreal and thanks for your thoughts on the subject. And please everyone, stop apologizing for having opinions!!! Especially when they’re as balanced and well presented as this one. In other words: Man up people! And if you all don’t, I will: Cubans are tropical satyrs and they don’t care who knows it! Even their partners; As you sagely point out: “the involved parties did not really make an effort at discretion, but it’s like there is some kind of Omertà it comes to this matters” (love the Omerta ref by the way; Cuba: its the Slut Syndicate!)
OK, rant over. Seriously now, I can’t believe a well spoken, multi lingual, world traveler, swinging single like yourself hasn’t been come on to in a major way here. Its just unbelievable that you didn’t have a pair of 20-something girls dancing in their window naked while you ate a pizza on the prado (like happened to a friend of mine) or been propositioned by a 26 y.o. “virgin” (like happened at a table adjacent and made me project my congris across the patio the idea of a 26 yo Cuban virgin is so laughable) Is this spam, I now wonder? Are you trying to provoke a response where I call Cubans shameless tropical satyrs and heads of a Slut Syndicate?!
I repeat: Reggaeton is a scourge.
And I will use the “read me while being bored to tears at gate 36″ as a marketing tool. thanks! please fly again with Here is Havana.
hello again Conner… As I sit here debating if I want to go out and battle the elements on a seasonal February Saturday night here in Montreal (having recently returned from a few days in SoCal too boot), I figured I’d take a stab at replying. Outright, I want to apolig…errr..never mind, I get what you’re saying, and I’m seldom accused of being overly diplomatic. I just have so many friends and acquaintances that like to make utterly false and misinformed declarations about Cuba, which drives me insane for a number of reasons. First, most have never spent any significant time there out of a resort, and even the ones that have, are too culture shocked to even try and recognize that rationalizing Cuban reality through very superficial and at misinformed western views just doesn’t work, and makes you look silly to someone who might know better. This is why I can get a bit apprehensive when sharing my thoughts on Cuba, while I have been there many times now, and learned and experienced a great deal, in a way I feel like there are many things I understand less the more I see. Part of what has me coming back I guess.. well, that and trying to become a card carrying member of the Slut Syndicate
… I loved that btw, so the fact that my original reply tipped the glass that produced your rant coining that little gem makes it totally worth it.
The other thing I wanted to clarify, I’m sorry if you somehow got the idea that I am spared the endless advances when visiting. I can think of a number of unsubtle ways I’ve been approached in various places around the city, they range from the funny and unexpected to downright scary and embarrassing, and I’m far from bashful.. Maybe the next time I’m in town we can grab a bite, I can share some memorable ones, and you’ll let me pick your brain about some questions I would love to ask a long term yuma permanent resident.. Also, I’d like to see if that appetite of yours lives up to the billing, my treat, any Reggeaton-free zone of your choosing…
On the original subject matter though, somewhere over Arizona last night I remembered an interesting experience from when I was there to ring in 2012 a month ago. After being out on the town the night of my arrival with my date, my good friend from Havana and his now official novia (I had actually introduced them on my previous trip), we drove back to my casa in Playa, and since I wasn’t really sober enough to drive him, I told him to take my car home. As he had no credits in his phone, I also gave him my cuban mobile so I can call him to bring the car back once I got up. When he came back later that day, he had a “I told you so” smirk as he greeted me. Reason being, when I had first seen him after getting into town the previous day and asked about his novia, he had mentioned that he thinks she might be into me, as she seemed a bit too excited, as he put it, that I was coming to town. I didn’t think much of it and just took it as standard cuban banter. But surely enough, after he had dropped her, and then me and my date off later that night, she had sent a rather explicit text message to my cuban phone, which she figured I had, since he had called her from it earlier, telling her whose number it was. Now all this could have happened anywhere, what ensued was more local; not only was my friend thoroughly amused by the her asking me to pick her up from school (she’s a teacher) for a “proper welcome”, but he thought I should actually do it. When I declined, obviously, he continued to see her like nothing happened, and still does, while I had to have a “bro code” chat with her the next time we saw each other, to which she replied that I was being childish… understanding relationships and personal conduct in Havana, no es facil…
Wow/Guau! First let me say that I have some of the grooviest readers around (I hardly read other blogs so this is completely subjective; sue me). And recently Ive noticed an uptick in both quality AND quantity which life so rarely produces, so for this I give thanks.
I can’t reply to your long and interesting comment today since Im preparing to pop my bike polo cherry here in Havana in a few short hours but your cell phone swap story is diabolically delicious (some commenters claim this sort of stuff happens all over but the combo of
“throwing base” at you, your friend encouraging her to do so, and her chastising you following the bro code chat is classic Cuban and something I cant imagine happening in the same way anywhere else; maybe Brazil but thats it).
Can I cop the story for my book?!
no worries, trying out ridicoulous new sports like bike polo should always take precedent (still tying to get my head around how that actually works).. I’m actually impressed by your response frequency, considering the availability/reliability of connection in Havana, not like you can pop them off from the iPhone on the go like yours truly and most people here. And as for using the anecdote, by all means, whatever gets the book out there sooner, I’m all for it…cheers
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Wow, I’m so glad I found you article here! It’s tough finding good stuff on Cuba that isn’t super political. As for the duel family thing, I did some studying in Mexico for awhile and from what I hear… this is a regular occurrance with that culture as well.
I’ve also heard that many a businessman will go to Mexico and take a wife as they’re supposed to be very loyal. Crazy stuff huh?
While there are many dueling families here, there and everywhere, Ive also found (thanks to this post), that there are also dual families al around the world!
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Hi. How can I find out if my ex husband got married in Cuba when he went to ” visit his family?” Is there a public records website or number I could call? Thank you.
Oh dear, this doesn’t sound good (‘huele mal’ as we say). Unfortunately, I dont know of a public records database. certainly not on line. MAybe try the cuba amor website/ask their users?
Also keep in mind that 1/2 of cuban marriages are not legalized but carry all the same rights and responsibilities as if the couple was married with papers. So it may not matter at all if its “official”
good luck.
Thank u for your response. Si mi Amiga huele mal. My beautiful Cuban husband who I was married to for ten years went on a trip to Cuba, then another, then another within a year, supposedly to visit his sick father, coming back each time acting strangely: started smoking, drinking cheap beer, dressing flashy. Picking on me for things I thought he loved for, like being independent and strong. Supposedly he kept going back ( he hadn’t gone for 14 years since he first came to the u.s. at 25, said he never wanted to return to that suffering) to purchase an air conditioned house for his dad. I have yet to confirm that said house exists. Well, after his last visit to Cuba which was supposed to be a week but turned into 2 months, he told me he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce. 3 months later he married an 18 yr old jinetera he ” rescued” from Cuba. I found this all out on my own as his friends and family covered for him. It shocked me to my core and 2 yrs later still does. I think he married her in Cuba while he was married to me. So the problem is I still dig on Cuban men. Can a u.s. citizen go to visit Cuba? Maybe I’ll go pick myself up a jinetero lol. The kicker is that all my Cuban friends tell me it was all my fault for letting him go to Cuba by himself in the first place bc supposedly no normal man can say no to the temptations there, and young girls are just looking for their ticket out of there and they will use your husband to do so. I don’t know I guess they’re right. I didn’t know he was going to such a tempting place. Anyways thanks for listening to me. *** end of post**
ek but turned backhome, to Cuba as a u.s. citizen? Maybe ill go pick myself one up lol. A jinetero. Anyways thanks for listening. All our Cuban friends and
digging on cuban men? very hard not to in spite of it all……
Cmon down – there are many for the taking and to cure what ails you.
** I think he married her in cuba on one of his trips while married to me, then came here, stirred shit up with me so we’d divorce, then married her here in the u.s. The u.s. marriage I do know about. I want to prove he committed bigamy so I can get an annulment.
Ay chica. Im so sorry this happened to you. Ten years is a long time (esp married to a cuban – it’s longer than dog years!). I don’t know about proving bigamy and all that but I do know that once the 18 yo old jinetera throws him overboard (and she will, trust me), he’ll likely start sniffing around again. Im a little sick of this “titimania” that men – all men it seems, but especially here, I have MANY male friends 45+ who are with women young enough to be their daughters. Character flaw? Im beginning to think so!!
Hang tough!
Lol. Yes, I am sure I can find the solution(s) to what ails me in Cuba. As they say ” un clavo saca otro.” I’m going to start planning my trip! I know these older dudes are a trip,with their affinity for young girls, but man they age really well..being in my 30′s I’m sure I’m past my prime! Maybe I can take some Tommy Hilfiger shirts to bribe them lol. Anyways, is this your book “Havana Good Time?” I’m so going to read it asap if it is! You are so funny and insightful I must know more!!!
Ha! As you may imagine, the saying “un clavo saca otro” (one nail pulls out another, literally translated. loosely translated: got screwed? time to screw another) is VERY popular over this way! Did you know it comes from Shakespeare?
Havana Good Time is a guide to Havana – digital, downloadable app for iPhone/Pad/Touch and Android. Fully functional here in Havana but great for armhchair travel too!
Hi again! For some reason I couldn’t post under our blog convo… No, I did not know that “un clavo saca otro” is from el Shakespeare! Where exactly- what text -do you know? I have been reading all of your blogs and am dying of laughter! Man, you have got some spot on observations. I am so glad I found your blog. I thought I was imagining some of the crazy shit I saw/heard during my 10 yr marriage to a cubano. Turds on the beach! LOL
From Marissa Perez, LCSW
Por eso los hombres y especialmente los cubanos son solo for a WEEKEND!!!! Do not forget that queridas!!!
Jajaja. Por eso me encanta la cancion por Queen Latifah, “Weekend Love!”
Yes. Although I admit that I totally crush on cubanos now after being married to one, I’m not dumb enough to engage in another relationship that would last longer than a 3 day wknd! It’s like their coffee small doses Black or mixed w/ cream very hot but ultimately cheap & not all the damn time.
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i have been with a cuban man for going on eleven years. it took about five years before i realized how much of a cheater he is. we have six kids, and i now know he has never from day one been faithful. we have been through so much together. he has slept with every female i know except my grandma and mom. he has slept with my sister, aunts, friends, and many very nasty women i dont know but found out about. i find alot of women covering for him. saying that they are just friends, but others tell me different
Yowza. Im not sure what surprises me most about your comment – the failure to do abue y mama (what is he, ageist?!); the six kids (how on earth do you support them?!); or that you’re still with him. That’s a whole lot of betrayal to swallow (sister and “friends” included). Suerte mujer.
Been thinking of marrying a cuban….all this reading has given a new perspective in some ways.
Hola Shannon. Im glad my blog has helped provide new perspective – that’s my major motivation. But keep in mind that bad experiences tend to get more screen time/column inches than good and while many of the comments are along the lines of “I was tricked/dogged/heart-broken” there ARE successful cuban/foreigner marriages. Managing expectations, knowing the person (and cuban culture) as well as possible, addressing financial and resource-related issues early and head on, and speaking each others’ language (literally and figuratively) are all important for any marriage, but especially the intercultural kind. Good luck!
Thanks! Keep the blog up, I think all views, good or bad offer some insight. I have known my partner for 5 years, on a friendship level. Our friendship moved forward about 18 months ago.His brother is married to one of my best friends here in canada for the past 9 years. One never truly knows their partner until we are under the same roof day in and day out, even then, nothing is a guarantee. I am trying to be objective and realistic. We have made applications for a visa for him to come and visit, all have been denied. I am under the understanding this is the “norm”. Frustrating! My lack of knowledge into the “system”, it would seem reasonable to grant a visitors visa rather than individuals getting into quick marriages.
My understanding is that this year (2013) a lot of the travel restrictions for Cubans were relaxed. It should be easier now to get Cubans out of the Country without a marriage commitment.
I just got back from another trip and I must say that I have also noticed that most Cuban men have one or more women “on the side”. When I was alone with Cuban men they always started to brag how many girl friends they have (while being married). At one occasion a married Cuban man was giving me and my gf a tour and I wondered why he would take pictures of us. Turned out his tour-gideing gave him carte blanche for the evening to screw around behind of his wife’s back and he needed proof. I guess his wife did not trust him very much.
It’s a great country with very nice people but you have to be aware of a couple of things, e.g. the lack of faithfulness and a very relaxed attitude towards promiscuity.
Hi Mark. Thanks for chiming in.
The restriction that has been removed is the exit permit required by the Cuban govt to travel abroad. The ENTRY requirements for countries receiving Cubans have not changed (to my knowledge) and that, along with having the funds to travel, are the real barriers to travel. It is a bold step to remove this exit permit and one that was discussed hot and heavily throughout the country in the national debates held in 2010.
As many have voiced here. the relaxed attitude towards fluid relationships (after all, promiscuity is relative!) is something many people appreciate about Cubans.
Ola, que bola chica?? I’m a cuban american, on behalf of my dad chica who came over from north havana. My dad actually had couple nicknames he called me while growing up “cubanito an cubichi”. His friends called me those or “cuba also his name “carlos antonio jr”. I’m hoping to look up some of my cuban familia that I’ve lost do to my mom’s ridiculousness. But although I’m cuban american, I feel 90% tha I am lol funny ah?? I am very faithful. Actually if it wasn’t for the 2gorgeous children an 9yrs I have with my girl(yes girl), I’d be a single father. She is an american from creo, jamaica, gringa lol. After she cheated on me ya chica we broke up an mann… yo eche sal en muchas comidas..
I enjoyed your blog. Was actually just surfing cuban heritage an came across this blog an had to read it chica lol… But ay althought I’m 90% cuban lol 5% american and 5% rican I love the cuban part of me.. I hope to visit as Im planning on moving to orlando with the familia. But thanks for the insight of my country.. An there are faithfuls.. Just BELIEVE in em chica. Btw I’m 28..
Hola Cubanito!
Thanks for stopping in. Let your friends in south florida know about me won’t ya? Cheers.
You actually made many terrific stuff with your blog, “Those Faithful Cubans
| Here is Havana”. I’ll be coming back to ur web-site shortly. Thx ,Sherlene
Thanks Sherlene. Glad you liked it. If you subscribe to the blog, you’ll receive new posts directly to your mailbox. I only post 2 times or so a month, so I promise, you won’t be flooded.
Thanks Sherlene. Glad you liked it. If you subscribe to the blog, you’ll receive new posts directly to your mailbox. I only post 2 times or so a month, so I promise, you won’t be flooded.
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Interesting experiences you’ve had in Cuba. Interesting dialogues in your blog.
Returned from a trip to Cuba a few weeks ago, Was born there, had not been back since i was 13, which is 53 years ago. Traveled from Maisi to Cabo San Antonio. a wonderful, emotional trip. have lived in Alaska most of my life, back here now. Met a Cubana half my age who traveled with me, wants to marry me when i return. Which i plan to do soon.
Are you currently in Cuba? May we correspond privately? genealaska@gmail.com
best wishes.
Hey Gene.
Glad you landed at here is havana. Must have been a real trip visiting this wacky, wonderful island after half a century away. Alaska and Maisi are two places that keep cropping up for me here; I’ve had invites to both places in the past 2 weeks and can’t take advantage of either of them due to work and finances (ie lack thereof).
Best way to communicate privately is to send a message to the address under the Get in Touch section of the menu on the right. I respond to all real inquiries.
So do you plan to return soon, marry soon or both?! Not clear from how you’ve written it. If the latter, is it a case of “gustos”, “gastos” or both?
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